First it was love,

kick_the_baby47 @ 2006-06-12T23:05:00

2006-06-13T03:18:56Z

Ugh. Having a Bad day. More like a bad week. James and me are having problems. I feel like he doesn't care about me as much anymore. Plus I'm having a shitload of trouble with school because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fail all my exams. I just don't understand why everything bad has to come all at once. Jesus Christ. Give me a fuckin break. but anyways. James is sapposed to come home in 10 days. But I don't know if hes going to anymore, I really don't think he wants to. Lately hes been weird- doesn't call, doesn't want to talk about anything, constantly gives me an attitude and tells me he "doesn't care what I do anymore". Like honestly, would this not translate as "I don't like you anymore" to everyone else. Because thats how I see it. and its making me really upset all the time. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, I don't know what the fuck he's doing and I don't know what the fuck our relationship is anymore. Seriously, right now we could pass for a married couple. Fighting 24/7- Mainly about nothing... and hes trust issues. Hes so paranoid about this summer- that i'm going to go wild and start cheating on him and getting wasted and banging random guys and stop talking to him and loosing sight of the relationship. Which I don't get because if thats what hes scared of... why in the hell would you distance yourself from your girlfriend? and he constantly tells me if hes too difficult for me than to just leave him- but I don't want to. I love the boy to death. I have been and will continue to do everything and anything for him no matter what it takes. I work my ass off to save up money for him to come home, which has completely killed my social life and every minute I'm not working I'm talking to him. I love him more than anything and lately I feel like hes lost sight of what we have together. I don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes relationships just seem way too hard- especially the long distance ones.

Ugh

peace nigs

-ali

I love James and Tom to deathx3

2005-12-18T15:06:33Z

Last night, James took me, Alex and Dean to East Rockaway to confront Josh because hes fucking stalking me and my friends and threatening me. But that whole confronting thing with Josh didn't work out so good because at about 9:55pm James slid through a stop sign and hit a brand new bmw. air bags were deployed in the other car but not in ours because James's car doesn't have air bags.. So James's car is totalled yet again... the whole front end is about half its original size... thank god no one was seriously injured in the accident... But yeah... I really feel like shit... this is James's second accident in less than a month... and this one, despite what James and Tom say, is my fault... because I had to go to fucking East Rockaway... Josh is not worth this much- Alex is grounded for a month, James might not be able to go to Colorado anymore, and he doesn't have a car, and he probably won't ever again, and hes grounded for god knows how long and I'm in fucking serious pain in my neck and shoulders... I just wish I didn't want to go there, or that I just told him to turn around... but I love James to death... for doing that for me... and for not shooting me... and for not hating me... and I love Tom to death... for coming the fucking hospital to get me... and taking me home at fucking 12:30... and for actually caring about me...

and thats about it... I love my friends to death... for being the best friends anyone could ever have...

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-12-06T00:19:00

2005-12-06T05:24:58Z

wow definately have not updated in a while.

so for the most important stuff.

1)Josh dumped me because "there are so many hott girls out there that want him." Which is apparently bullshit because, according to his friends, hes too busy obsessing over some girl that bevi went out with and she won't give him the time of day. so kudos for her. even though she went out with bevi =/

2)Got a new bf named John who seemed really nice. but then dumped me because I intimidated him after he cheated on me. go fucking figure.

3)James and Tom are leaving in a month and I am sad =[

4)I <3 Danielle Millan and Alex Nellen more than anything else in the WORLD... but thats not really new... I've loved them forever... but I feel like declaring it as my forth most important thing. because thats most important in my life.

so yeah. thats pretty much it.

much love, ali

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-11-11T22:46:00

2005-11-12T03:50:25Z

its 10:46.

and I'm sitting in my room.

as I've been doing since 11:30am today.

because I am grounded.

and unlike all of my other groundings I didn't benefit from what caused this one.

instead-

I lost 15 dollars.

so as you can tell I'm just ridiculously cheerful right now.

and that is all for my update.

-ali

ps- josh's sweatshirt is very warm.

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-11-02T15:14:00

2005-11-02T20:19:21Z

I haven't updated in a while and feel like I should. so yeah. this is me updating.

so for the news in my life.

not only is my dad dying from emphysema... he now has some sort of nerve disease. we're not sure on what it is yet but we'll know soon hopefully.

and all I can think about is all the times I've told him I hate him when at the moment I can't stand the idea of him not being there anymore.

all I want is my dad to be here, with me and my mom and my brothers. But as the days go on its seeming less possible.

I just hope to god that I don't loose him yet.

I don't think my family can survive without him.

sorry for the emotastical-ness of my updating entry. just kind of depressed.

hehe

2005-10-11T21:04:12Z

okay so I swore up and down I'd quit smoking today... but heres a VERY BAD chain reaction that will happen if I do

quit smoking > gain a lot of weight >rapid decline in sexual activity > death at age 40 from my obeseity

then on the other hand

smoking > stay my average weight > have a healthy sex life > get married > pop out a couple of kids > die at age 70 from lung cancer

hmmm... this is a difficult choice.... I go with--- SMOKING!!!

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-09-28T23:10:00

2005-09-29T03:11:52Z

okay... nothing new... except... I'm no longer with Josh and all of his friends pretty much hate me...

and when I found out why... I'll let you know...

-ali

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-09-02T15:09:00

2005-09-02T19:14:35Z

yeah I definately forgot to update. Brownie points for vinny for reminding me.

me and dan ended like a week and a day ago. It lasted 6 days. no fucking surprise. he was rather whiney and we all know what happens when I'm with a whiney person- I flip my shit because I HATE people who complain with a fucking passion.

now I have josh. hes mad cool. and 19. and not whiney. so it works.

thats about it.

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-08-20T23:12:00

2005-08-21T03:21:17Z

okay.. well I haven't updated in a while. so heres a list of new things that have happened. I went camping and it sucked. and then I met Dan and now I'm happy.

that last part is most important. because hes amazing. and he wrote me a song. and that makes me really happy. because no ones ever done that for me before.

yeah thats about it.

-ali

VIKKI'S KIDS

2005-08-02T16:01:42Z

...me and vikki got bored so we made a list of her future 39 kids I'm forcing her to have...PS-I'm the godmother/aunt...

1.Susie-kidnapped and raped by #9.
2.Workaholic
3.Needs a lung transplant
4.Swallowed marbles and died
5.Male Hairdresser
6.Suicidal- threw himself in front of a train
7.Transvestite
8.Went to Boarding school in Europe for having lesbian incest with #27
9.Mexican Rapist
10.Addicted to tylenol and landed himself in rehab yet again.
11.Set himself on fire
12.Addicted to porn and enjoys shoving dildos up his ass
13.Gay, just gay
14.Got his penis cut off.
15.Thinks hes a waffle.
16.Died in a fire trying to rescue a cat.
17.Scott.
18.The Cat Lady.
19.Owns a farm.
20.In a sick german fetish video.
21.Arrested on drug charges for having 57 condoms in his stomach filled with extacy.
22.Popular prostitute in Hollywood.
23.Has sex with #19's farm animals.
24.Ran away to Mexico.
25.Asshole falls out of his sideways butt cheeks.
26.The cute one.
27.Was eaten by Piranas after having lesbian incest with #8.
28.Left for Dick and coke in Michigan.
29.Jr. Fantastic- lost arm while opening a door ultrafast. his arm was replaced by a penis that now has the power to elongate. This is Joe's child.
30.Severely damaged during pregnancy because of serious drug use.
31.Killed by me in a river.
32.Foot fetish.
33.Overdosed on aerosol cans.
34.Chopped off leg and sold for drugs.
35.Mentally Insane.
36.Disowned Vikki.
37.Married with 3 kids.
38.Nymphomaniac, just like her mommy and godmother/aunt.
39.Pot Head that enjoys sucking dick for marijuana.

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-07-12T21:20:00

2005-07-13T01:22:15Z

holy crap. one week exactly until I'm in Florida. Thats scary considering I've been counting down FOREVER.

...but yeah...

It shall be fun. Hopefully I don't get caught up in some of the infamous Orlando Drama. I just might shoot myself. and no one wants that to happen.=]

a new life lesson

2005-06-30T18:40:01Z

NEVER EVER attempt to sneak into your house at 4:30 on a weekday

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-06-28T21:44:00

2005-06-29T01:46:12Z

just to let ya'll know I'm only going to Florida for 8 days now instead of the orginally planned 2 weeks. if anyone has an issue with this they can fuck off because I'm not waisting 2 weeks of my summer to visit people that by next year I won't talk to anymore. peace out motherfuckers!

<3ali

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-06-18T22:10:00

2005-06-19T02:15:25Z

I've finally figured out what the worst feeling in the world is. Despite popular belief, its not getting dumped by someone you truely love; Its the feeling you get after you find out that one of your closest friends, isn't a friend and you loose all respect for that person within a matter of minutes and you just can't believe they would ever go so low to treat a friend so poorly. That is truely the worst thing you can ever experience and I hope the few who read this won't ever go through that.

much love,
alison

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-06-13T21:06:00

2005-06-14T01:13:12Z

wow. nothing new. school ended today, well it was the last day of classes so now all I have to worry about is finals. umm, last weekend my mom found my bonds that I got when I was little so I cashed them and got $915, but I spent a lot of it on some new clothes, my new hair and an mp3 player so now I have $300 left. its kinda crazy how quickly I go through money, but yeah. anyways, my new hair is crazy. its blonde and redish brown. I love it, but I'm bleaching it a bit more next week. I'm trying to go completely bleach blonde and I figured I'd keep it like that until I feel like going back to my natural color. Umm- Also, friday was Alex's sweet sixteen and it was oodles of fun. She looked so amazing in her dress! Then the weekend before I went to the strawberry festival twice and had a good time so I guess you can say that the past few weekends have been better than normal. But yeah, I'm so happy summer is finally here! I need a break from school and all its confusion. Now all I have to worry about is saving money for Florida, which works. So yeah, thats it in the world of Alison. Peace out mother fuckers <3

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-06-01T15:44:00

2005-06-01T19:45:23Z

OMG DANNY CAME TO SEE ME AND WE HAD AN AMAZING TIME!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!! now I only have to wait 47 days until I get to see everyone else. I think I can live with that.

<3ali

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-05-28T22:19:00

2005-05-29T02:20:40Z

OMG I GET TO SEE DANNY ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...that just made my vacation...

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-05-19T22:10:00

2005-05-20T02:11:51Z

MY UNTIL I GO TO FLORIDA TIMER

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-05-16T20:50:00

2005-05-17T00:51:23Z

I'm such a bitch and I LOVE it

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-05-15T20:11:00

2005-05-16T00:15:41Z

I love John. Random entry, I know. But, I love him. He always knows how to make me feel better.

boredom quizes

2005-05-12T22:06:44Z

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-05-10T18:55:00

2005-05-10T22:55:36Z

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kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-05-10T15:50:00

2005-05-10T20:00:11Z

Once again, nothing new. Schools getting like 10 times as boring since all it is is review tests and whatnot. In like a month and a half schools going to end and I'm flipping my shit because I'm going to fail this marking quarter horribly. I really can't believe how fast this school year went by. In about 2 weeks or so it will be a year since I haven't seen any of my Florida peoples. Thats crazy. I miss them so much. Thank god I'll be there soon and hopefully I'll have an amazing time and nothing will go wrong like I think it will. Thats about it. Just my whole little epidemic with school ending and such.

<3ali

My Night

2005-05-07T02:45:11Z

Well, to sum it up, TONIGHT WAS PROBABLY THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE...trust my friends to set me up with weird, abusive, unattractive fags...eh...It's just my fucking luck though...at least tomorrow should be better...going to the mall and such...fun fun fun

<3ali

kick_the_baby47 @ 2005-05-02T21:21:00

2005-05-03T01:39:24Z

Oye, nothing new going on to any extent. Vacation was alright. It pretty much consisted of me sleeping and cleaning. The only downside of it was that my brother is having more seizures lately so we have to take him back to the doctor. I'm really worried about him. I went back to school today expecting it to be shitty but surprisingly it wasn't too bad, other than being ignored by a certain someone I wish wouldn't ignore me. I came home directly after school today to sleep because I didn't get much sleep last night but that didn't turn out too well. While I was sleeping my cat escaped and got into yet another fight so now his eye is all fucked up. That was my one depression moment today. Later, I helped Lindsay out with her relationship problems and shit. I'm a good psycho-analysist. Then I fixed all problems with Vinny and Lindsay and now I can happily say I have full confidence in a successful relationship between them. I'm so proud of myself. Thats pretty much it, except I have to add: Kristy, you don't need him. You are better than him in my world and that should mean something coming from someone that couldn't stand you a month ago. =] I love you with wombat love! <3

~ali